Evil Commie Government Officials: For some reason, we stood around listening to that four-and-a-half hour long speech from John Galt without moving or saying anything!
Dagny Taggart: Give up, he’s won!
Evil President: No! Look for John Galt, instead, so we can give him a job! That’s what true evil would do!
Eddie Villers: Ms. Taggart, I know who John Galt is. I’ve been telling him every little personal detail about your life, and all of our confidential business secrets, to him for years.
Dagny: I don’t mind that you broke every personal and professional trust imaginable! I never get upset at CAPITALISTS who do immoral, illegal, or stupid things, even when they are part of what has destroyed my business! Also, I won’t even hint that Galt’s Gulch exists, because no rapture of the capitalists for you, Eddie!
The Undifferentiated Masses: Despite having just listened to a long-ass speech that said most of us are scum who deserve to die, and despite John Galt admitting he sabotaged the economy to get things to this state, we will worship him and start trouble for the government! Go CAPITALISM!
Baby CAPITALIST: I’ll break a woman’s jaw for teaching her kids to share toys! America, fuck, yeah!
Evil President: Follow Dagny, she’ll take us to John Galt. I will ignore the fact that we already know there’s a John Galt literally working for her and don’t even bother to pick him up to check if he has the same voice as the guy who gave the long-ass speech, because we’re stupid.
Dagny: I must go see John Galt! He lives in a slum?! Oh, noes! How can such a great CAPITALIST live in a slum? Slums are for WORKERS!
John Galt: Yo, Dagny. I figure the government following you, and is likely to be here in half an hour, but I’ve made no plans to escape. To save yourself, you have to claim to hate me and want the reward money. And instead of trying to escape, let’s canoodle for that half an hour.
Dagny: Okay! Though, would me pretending to hate you actually work? I mean, seriously. You’ve been working for me for twelve years, and you mentioned Francisco d’Anaconia and Hank Rearden in your totally dreamy speech about how you’ve got a plot to kill millions of Americans through industrial sabotage, and it’s just a matter of record that I have close personal relationships with both of them. Additionally, um, there was that month I was gone without being able to give a good accounting of my time. I’m pretty sure that’s going to raise some questions, too . . . oh, why should I worry about such things! You’re right! That wouldn’t happen to a CAPITALIST!
Thugs: Open the door! We’ll ask politely! We are thugs only in the loosest sense!
John: Sure. I give up.
Dagny: I hate him, give me the reward! (I’m just pretending.)
Thugs: Sure, we believe your transparent deception, even though he specifically mentioned two known associates of yours with whom you’ve had close personal relationships, and despite you having a month of unaccounted time recently! Now we’ve got to take John to a fancy, upscale hotel where he’ll be given the finest food and drink.
John: It’s a TORTURE to be held prisoner like this!
Evil President: John! Nice to meet you. I want you to run the economy of the United States.
John: No! You have nothing to offer me!
Evil President: How about a billion dollars in gold.
John: No! Despite me previously saying that gold has objective value, I will continue to say you have nothing to offer me!
Evil President: Here are a pile of letters from starving children who want you to run the economy.
John: I don’t care about starving children because of what happened to Hank Rearden. Yes! I will say that thousands of starving children is the moral equivalent to Hank being put out of business!
Evil President: Um, okay. Well, we’ll give you more time in this luxury apartment with all this fine food and drink to think it over, okay?
John: Will your tortures never cease?
Dagny: Oh, no! There is trouble in California, and the Comet (my favorite train) is stuck!
Eddie: I’ll go there and make the Comet work!
Dagny: Even though it’s highly likely that I won’t be here when you return, and the trip is ridiculously dangerous, and it won’t really help the company, I won’t order you to stay even though I’m your boss. See, I’m going to be caught up in the rapture of the capitalists and you won’t be. So, sure, even though you’re a lifelong friend of mine and I could easily stop you and/or offer you a trip to capitalist utopia, yeah, I won’t stop you from going. Bye! See you!
Eddie: I’d do anything for you, Miss Taggart! You know how I feel about you!
Dagny: Yep, I do! Go to California on your suicide mission, now!
Evil President: Hey, let’s put John on TV! That’ll get him.
John: Get out of my way!
Evil Scientist: Now can I have him?
Evil President: Sure.