Straw Man Philosopher: I hold an anti-rationalist philosophy that’s nothing like 40s and 50s philosophy! Yet I’m supposed to represent mid-century philosophy, even though I’m nothing like Bertrand Russell or George Santayana!
Straw Man Writer: I express nihilistic artistic values that are nothing like 40s and 50s writing, and I am nothing like J. R. R. Tolkien or George Orwell!
Philosopher and Writer: We’re commies, even though we’re nothing like actual commies of the period!
Francisco d’Anaconia: Commies suck! Gee whiz, it sure is easy to set fire to straw men! It’s nice to live in a world where I’m always right because these commies are nothing like actual people expressing ideas held by anyone!
Dagny Taggert: I don’t like Hank Rearden’s wife!
Hank Rearden: I don’t like Francisco d’Anaconia!
Francisco: But I like you, Hank! Soon, you’ll like me.
Hank: Even though I don’t like you, I can see you’re different than the commies! It’s like we’re aliens who can communicate telepathically, but only with each other! Soon, I’ll like you!
Dagny: I like Hank!
Hank: I like Dagny, hubba, hubba! She’s got a bracelet on, and the perfect expression of femininity is a woman chained!
Kit Bradley: What the living FUCK, Hank?!
Random Party Person: There’s a pirate named Ragnar Danneskjold! He raids the American coast but the Coast Guard can’t stop him, because apparently in this world the Guard doesn’t have radar and there are no warplanes! Clumsy foreshadowing and bad plotting!
Hank: I don’t like my wife, either! I only married her because I wanted to dominate her, sexually, and when that didn’t happen, I lost all interest in her!
Kit Bradley: Ew! Too much information! What the hell is wrong with you, man?!