Dagny Taggart: I love my apartment now that my job sucks. Why doesn’t the whole world be like I want it to be? I’d be happy if everything was exactly like I wanted, which isn’t childish of me AT ALL. Hark! A knock! Who could it be?
Francisco d’Anaconia: It’s me!
Dagny: Of course it is. Of course.
Francisco: Do you remember that thing, last chapter, when I said that you should just go back and read my other speeches? I’m here to give that speech, again.
Dagny: My favorite! But while I might agree that we’re helping those who are trying to destroy us, that’s the price of actually getting things done. If this was a more self-aware book, and I a less ridiculous character, I might be forced to acknowledge that dealing with other people’s decisions, wants, and needs is the cornerstone of civilization: the ability to get along even when you don’t get your way. But it isn’t, and I’m not, so I characterize this as mere selfishness on my part.
Francisco: You should join us! Even though we’re gutless cowards engaging in economic sabotage that creates incredible global hardship to advance the causes of those already very rich, I will characterize us as noble and ethical people who are TORTURED when we don’t get everything we want, just as we want it. Who is that knocking? Are you expecting someone?
Dagny: Oh, drat.
Hank Rearden: Honey, I’m home . . . hey, what is HE doing here, no homo? I bet he’s trying to get into your pants.
Dagny: He’s not.
Francisco: I’m not.
Hank: Well, I don’t trust either one of you, so I won’t believe you.
Dagny: And even though this lack of trust is deeply insulting to me, I’m okay with that! I will also not mind it when the two of you ignore me as you fight over me. That’s not insulting at all!
Francisco: Just so you know, I love her. But not as much as I love you, bro. No homo.
Hank: And while I love you, bro, no homo, I’m super jealous that you’re here with Dagny. So I’ll pop you in the head.
Francisco: Ow! Maybe you suck. Well, no. Bro fist bump, no homo. But I’m outta here.
Dagny: That was so hot. Dominate me sexually, Hank! Show Francisco that you’re the top dog by boning his ex-girlfriend.
Hank: You got it! Hate sex it is!
Dagny: You love him, don’t you?
Hank: Yes, no homo.
Hotel Manager: Knock, knock! Here’s a letter.
Dagny: Oh, noes! It’s from my scientist or engineer – the book can’t keep the difference straight – in Utah!
Hank: The one that is examining the Miracle Motor that we stole from a closed factory back in Part 1? The guy who is stealing lab facilities from a university, and shirking his job to work on the stolen technology?
Dagny: Yes! He’s such a good CAPITALIST to shirk his duties, steal from his employer, and work on a stolen engine! And he is quitting because the new law makes him a SLAVE.
Kit Bradley: Quick note: if you can quit, you’re not a slave.
Dagny: I must call him to stop him!
CAPITALIST Scientist and/or Engineer: Yeah, I’m still around. Sure, I’ll wait for you to come visit me. Oh, I’ll still work on the engine you stole, stealing it from you, because for a book that is obsessed with property rights, no one seems to know how they work.
Dagny: I have to go, immediately, before he vanishes like all the other CAPITALISTS!
Eddie Villers: I’m here, alone and depressed because I learned that Dagny is boinking Hank. And because I’m brutally stupid and incompetent, I’m going to continue telling this stranger who works in the Taggart Transcontinental cafeteria, whose name I do not know, trade secrets and intimate information about Dagny. Oh, by the way, there’s no chance AT ALL that he’s John Galt.
Not John Galt: Thanks! If you weren’t so incompetent and free with company secrets and personal information, there’s no way this plot could develop!
Eddie Villers: Why are you going right now, after I told you trade secrets and confidential personal information?
Not John Galt: No reason!