Atlas Shrugged EXECUTIVE CAPITALIST Summary: Chapter 29

altas3Commie Dr. Statler: I need to control the sonic or cosmic ray cannon (no one knows which, it’s like the writer didn’t know the difference between sound and cosmic rays)! This despite the fact that I was horrified to learn of it’s existence, I’ve suddenly decided that I want to be a warlord! I’ve driven for days to get to it! Even though the country is supposedly in ruins with gangs and violence everywhere, I can drive totally unmolested for two thousand miles!

Commie Cuffy Meigs: I got here, first!

Commie Dr. Statler: You fool, don’t touch that lever! You’ll destroy us and everything within a hundred miles! You’ll destroy a BRIDGE!

Commie Cuffy: Bwahahahaha!

Kit Bradley: Ayn Rand barely mentions that the device also destroys Cedar Rapids, Iowa, which is home to about quarter of a million people. But, curse them, they destroyed a bridge, too! The bastards!

Evil Commie Scientist: So, John Galt, I have you in my power! I will torture you with the most extreme scientific methodology possible, that I personally invented! Electric shocks!

Kit: Wha’? Your big, secret “Project F” is a machine that delivers electric shocks? Oh, Ayn Rand, you’re SO creative.

Jim Taggart: I want to see you shock him!

John Galt: I will say nothing! I will just lie her, glistening, like a god, but only better than a god, my muscles all taunt and wiry, flexing with Adonis-like sexuality!

Kit: This whole thing is getting weird.

Evil Commie Scientist: Take that! And that! Hey, the machine broke down.

John Galt: You fix it by replacing some doodad.

Evil Commie Scientist: I can’t figure this out, despite the fact I made . . . can anyone figure this out that isn’t the prisoner?!

Jim: I’ll try! But, hey, now I’m going to go crazy and just start drooling.

Kit: This is very weird.

Evil Commie Scientist: Well, since the machine is broken, and Jim is insane for some reason, and we’ll never figure out how to torture John without the machine – I’m guessing because he doesn’t have testicles we could, I dunno, just punch? – we’ll leave him unattended!

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