Atlas Shrugged EXECUTIVE CAPITALIST Summary, Chapter 25

atlasJim Taggart: Dagny, fix everything!

Dagny Taggart: No way, but I will laugh! I told you this would happen! Bwahahaha!

Jim: Well, listen to this radio show! It’ll learn you!

Plot Radio: Instead of d’Anaconia Copper being nationalized, it was blowed up by Francisco d’Anaconia.

Jim: Drat!  I’m broke and there’s no more copper in America!

Dagny: I love it when Francisco’s terrorism threatens my business, as well as precipitates global economic collapse! He’s so dreamy!

Commies at Dinner: We hate life! We just want to destroy things using altruism as an excuse to cover our weakness and slutty impotence! Soybeans are awesome, because they’re “Oriental”.

Dagny: You’re doomed to fail because of the “unhygenic rajahs” of India have never done anything industrial, ever! I’m not a racist, I just think that white people do all the best stuff! Good thing there’s an emergency caused by your incompetence and not the global sabotage of the copper industry by Francisco d’Anaconia!  Even though that emergency is a copper shortage!

Hank Rearden: Dagny, we need to save the wheat crop, because wheat is good CAPITALIST food, not like those disgusting commie Buddhist soybeans!

Dagny: Drat, due to the copper shortage (which is in no way the fault of Francisco d’Anaconia and John Galt’s economic terrorism, nope, nuh-uh), all the train switches are down! We can’t get the trains to the wheat! I’ll organize the workers to do it manually until they can be fixed . . . hey, is that John Galt I see?

John Galt: Yep. Wanna boink?

Dagny: Only after pages of sexy CAPITALIST descriptions of how our souls yearn towards the same CAPITALIST goal, which is apparently a metaphor for you fondling my breasts. Sure!

John: Phew, that was good. Did you know I’ve been stalking you for twelve years? The best part was when I was down low and I could look up at your skirt at your legs.

Dagny: That’s not pathetic and stalkerish-y at all for you to fixate on a woman you never met for more than a decade, working at her business so you could get the occasional upskirt perv shot! You’re so dreamy! You being a sexual predator stalker is even hotter than the time when I thought Hank was going to kill me but boinked me, instead, or when Francisco slapped me around and then boinked me!

John: I won’t see you, again, because I’ll be busy sabotaging your every effort to save your company.  Until you’re ready to join us forever.

Dagny: I will not blame you for sabotaging my company, just the commies! CAPITALISTS are never wrong!

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